Define "chronic" masturbator.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Randomize
