Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
