I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
