I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
