I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
