We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
