He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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