if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
