Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
