you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My vagina is very pro this idea
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
