I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sorry my hands just texted you
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
