you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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