You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
