At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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