I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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