did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
