oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have demons in me.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
