Fuck appropriateness.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
