nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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