we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
