We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this is an emotional support booty call
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
