She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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