we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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