we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
