apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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