haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
