i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
