pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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