you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
