so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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