I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
