I can tuck mytits in my pants
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
