I showed him my bush... on skype.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
