dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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