How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
