Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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