bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
