You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I could fuck to npr.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
