quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
