lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
