Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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