Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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