Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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