My first STD was from a foam party
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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