Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
