We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize