In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
NoShamevember. You game?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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