You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
