So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
