The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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