somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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