How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
