I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
