she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
