when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
