you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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