i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm like, not good at living.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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